Ask Jewell

Q. How do you get back to the place of rebuilding a broken marriage after you’ve made up in your mind that you want out?

A. I was there.  I was divorced the night I kicked my husband out.  But God! I prayed and sought His plan for my life and He said, don’t quit.  Once I made up in my mind that I wanted God’s best for my life which was to stay with my husband, I asked Him to open my blind eyes to see a better marriage, to help me see Lewis and I the way He saw us.  The steps are given in Romans 12:1-2 that we 1) give our bodies a living sacrifice that is pleasing to God, 2) don’t be conformed to the world – which means you can’t do what others tell you, you have to submit to God and His word, and 3) transform by renewing your minds – allowing the word to give a different picture.  Why do you do this, “so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].’ God loves you and he loves marriages and families. Remember what he says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Go further to ask God for a greater desire than you had previously.  Then take one step at a time in repairing your marriage.  Work on one problem/conflict at a time to not become overwhelmed with trying to fix the marriage overnight.  Seek outside help from someone at your church, a marriage therapist or coach to help you sort through and prioritize conflicts that you are facing in your in your relationship. In addition, you must be willing to let go of old baggage (let the past be the past) and shut the door to divorce if you have made your mind up to save your marriage. Remember loves never fails!