Ask Jewell

Q. My husband and I have been together 4 years, living together the whole time. We have been through those 4 stages in those 4 years but have only been married 3 months. How do we prevent the flame from going out?

A. If you have made a decision to marry after living together, I hope you considered marriage as a lifetime commitment.  Although you may have gone through similar stages while dating, being married can bring more intensity to your relationship.  I would suggest approaching marriage with fresh new lenses, leaving behind ill feelings or experiences while dating.

You’re at a very good point which is your desire not to keep the flames from going out. I would suggest you find a mentor couple who has been married for some time to provide good Christian advice.  Also, never look at marriage conferences and seminars as for people who are just having problems.  Go to the conferences/seminars, go on marriage retreats, go on monthly dates, read books and magazines, and most importantly love your spouse in some way everyday (i.e. kiss them, take a walk, write a love note, etc).  Marriage 101 has quarterly newsletters and private membership where we provide daily nuggets that will keep the flames burning.  Check us out at www.marriage101.us