Best-selling author Jewell R. Powell Marriage 101 Jewell Powell is a marriage coach, best-selling author, and committed Christian who desires to help heal troubled marriages one marriage at a time
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Home Marriage Articles Mother In Law Marriage Problems - 4 Critical Steps For Your Mother In Law Marriage Problems

Mother In Law Marriage Problems - 4 Critical Steps For Your Mother In Law Marriage Problems

She might be the butt of jokes but in reality mother in law marriage problems can be a daunting prospect for the couple involved. Here you have a lady who gave birth to and raised one of you. Her wanting to be involved in your marriage is kind of hard to say "no" to. You don't want to hurt her feelings or appear ungrateful. And yet, it's obvious that the marriage is suffering somewhat by her involvement. What can you do?

Here's a 4 step approach to handing your mother in law marriage problems --

1. Recognize what's going on

In other words, both of you must admit and agree that cracks in your marriage are being caused by "that woman". If both or either of you are in denial about your mother in law causing problems, then you can't address the real problem at hand.

2. Be in agreement first

Be in agreement about the source of your problems. The trick behind dealing with problems caused by a mother in law is sieving out the person contributing to the problem from what "appears" to be the problem. Eg, your spouse tells you you're not doing well enough at your job and, that as a result, your future dreams cannot be fulfilled. Thinking more about this point of contention, you might both realize that the seed came from your wife's mother's desire for her to have a great future.

As long as you both believe certain problems crop up because of your mother in law's involvement, you have identified the source and now must agree to agree as a couple, going in together to manage the "third party".

3. Talk things out

Once you have discussed and agreed on the approach together, sit down with your mother in law to talk things out. Don't make this a confrontation. Position it as a "family meeting".

Start by thanking her for her contributions. Eventually lead into the various issues that are bothering you, what you have discussed and agreed on as a couple. Then ask for your mother in law's views. Take it in but then tell her you will want to discuss this as a couple and reach a couple decision which you will share with her another day. The idea here is to show her that her views are important, but you need to talk things through as a couple and decide as a couple. Over time, she will respect your approach.

4. Be firm but respectful

Finally, in order to really deal with mother in law marriage problems, be sure to be firm with her, yet respectful. You can disagree with her but, as long as you show her respect, am open to hearing her opinions, and accept her advice when its good, she will eventually show you respect back.

Dealing with mother in law marriage problems can be daunting. But if you work together as a couple, recognize what's happening, get in agreement, talk things out with your mother in law, and show her due respect, you will slowly gain better control of the situation. Your family, including your in laws, will be the happier for it.

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