It’s no secret that motherhood is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. If you are a mom, chances are you have read the article that typically pops up around Mother’s Day, discussing the salary a mother would earn if she received payment for all of her many responsibilities. It is fun to share that article with husbands and friends and feel some satisfaction for knowing someone gets it. Still, even with all of the challenges and duties, motherhood is a tremendous blessing, especially as you begin to see your hard work pay-off in your children.

With all of the negative influences, peer pressure and stressors affecting our children in today’s society, it takes a strong mother to parent through these issues and come out on the other side with children who are God-loving, responsible, respectful individuals. In fact, even more than strength, it requires prayer (and lots of it) to stay connected to God through it all and lead our children in the ways of the Lord.

Like anything worth experiencing on earth, parenting brings with it many challenges, but it remains true that there is real joy in motherhood. Not the kind of feeling you get when you realize you are about to be a mother, but real JOY that fills your heart and soul and gives you a sense of purpose as you are preparing your child(ren) for life.

When Motherhood is Hard

Many mothers are struggling now and wondering where this joy is and how they can obtain it. Perhaps their children are not following God and are instead falling prey to peer pressure or living a life that is not in line with what God has called his children to do.  Or maybe some mothers are just frustrated and weary and not experiencing joy in their daily lives. If you are in this category, do not lose hope! It does not mean you are a bad mother or a bad Christian. It does not mean you have bad children who will never get on the right track. God is still in control, and his timing is always perfect.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." This means even if your child is not living right at this time, or even if you are just feeling some frustration as they are growing up, everything will be beautiful in God’s time, so keep the faith and trust God. This act of trust in itself will help you to experience true joy in life, even when times are difficult.

Steps to Achieving Increased Joy in Motherhood

While true joy is never contingent on whether things are good or bad, but rather in having the love of Christ in our lives, it is true that establishing healthy priorities and including God in our lives makes achieving joy much more attainable. Below are some tips on how you can build up your children in Christ and create the best possible foundation for your family:

1. Make Your Family #1

There’s always something that can take your time and energy. Whether it is work, housework, friends, Internet, television and even church activities, it is easy to overload your day with numerous to-do lists. Often times, at the end of the day, you may notice that you haven’t really spent time with your kids. Just being in the same room, doesn’t count! Making your children a priority means that you spend time with them engaged in conversation or an activity. While there is always more laundry to do or another meeting to attend, you cannot get back years with your children, so make the most of them.

2. Make God a Regular Part of Conversations

In order to make God a part of your children’s lives, it is important to make him a part of your daily conversations—not just the recipient of mealtime prayer. When your children are small, it is easy to incorporate Bible stories into situations and conversations. As kids become older, it is still possible to bring God into the picture by talking about your own relationship with God and what the Bible states when it comes to certain topics. Making God a common part of your life provides a solid foundation for your kids. Even if they have times when they stray or make bad choices, they will still have that knowledge of God and his word in their hearts.

3. Show Love to Others

Our children, young and old, observe how we treat others. As they are learning about life and how to interact with other family members and friends and even strangers, they are learning these behaviors from their parents. When a mother shows love to those around her, she is setting an example to her children that will affect their hearts for a lifetime. From being thankful and polite to a waiter at a restaurant to displaying kindness to a homeless person to showing love to your spouse, your actions have a huge impact on your kids. Plus, showing love to others actually fills your own heart with true joy.

4. Teach Your Children the Importance of Having Fun

Life can be hard. It can be tiring and frustrating and complicated, but there is always room for fun. Some seasons of life are more challenging than others, but teaching your children to make time for fun is an important life skill to instill. Put a scheduled game night on the calendar, or break out the play-dough and have a sculpt-a-thon with your teens. Eat ice cream for dinner once in a while, or spend a Saturday at the skating rink. Whatever the activity is, be sure to laugh with your kids. God is love and joy and laughter, and when you can teach your children to have fun, you are giving them the ability to make it through all seasons of life more gracefully.

5. Forgive Your Children

Holding onto pain and nursing old wounds can suck the life out of a mother and even out of a family. You can teach your children about God’s forgiveness by simply modeling it to them: forgive your children when they mess up. Whether the mistake was big or small or even intentional, you must choose to forgive. Colossians 3:13 commands us: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” When forgiving your children, share with them why you are forgiving them (because God forgives you), and you will be helping them to grasp one of the most important aspects of God’s character.

There’s no secret formula to experiencing the joy of motherhood, and there is no way to make all of your parenting experiences flowers and sunshine. Motherhood brings with it challenges and blessings. However, to reap the true rewards of this all-important life experience, commit your mothering to the Lord and ask for his wisdom and strength to guide you. Doing this, you’ll find that your heart is filled with an unexplainable joy and peace that can only come from God.

© 2010 Grace Publishing, Inc. excerpt from the Marriage 101 Mini Series: Parenting.  Click here for more information.