Every year as holiday time comes around, lives become hectic and it can be challenging to keep things, especially our marriages, focused on the real meaning of Christmas: love. What if this year, things could be different? Perhaps this will be the year that your marriage and important relationships grow stronger, rather than just being on stand-by while you go from task to task on your holiday to-do list. By choosing to focus on showing love to your spouse, you can experience a more robust holiday season and bring it back to what it was meant to be.

There’s something about the season that puts a longing in our hearts for love, and it’s for good reason. Jesus coming to earth as a baby was God’s ultimate act of love for us. We can honor that sacrifice in a real way by choosing to walk in love and show more love to those around us.

This doesn’t mean we must shun the typical holiday traditions or say Bah Humbug to the festivities, but it means we have an opportunity to put a different spin on them, continually reminding ourselves of why we are doing what we are doing.

In the Bible, we find Paul encouraging the Philippians to keep their minds focused on the right things: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things (Philippians 4:8).

It’s so easy with all of the commercials and store displays to get caught up in the “wanting” of Christmas. We have a tendency to fall into the trap of consumerism and thinking in order to have a happy and joyful Christmas, we must have these gifts. However, when we come to the place where we continually think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable, this is when we can experience the true joy and blessing of Christmas and pass that blessing of love onto others in our lives, particularly our spouses.

Praying All the Best for You,

Lewis & Jewell Powell

Taking Action to Bless Your Spouse this Christmas

If you are ready to get your heart and mind focused on the beautiful, true meaning of Christmas, consider these tips for sharing the love with your spouse:

• Create a “love advent calendar” for your spouse. Write a special note for each day in December, and let him select a note each day. This could be as elaborate as a tree you make with the notes attached, or it could be a poster board full of 25 sticky notes. The idea is to write a short note with something you love about him for each of the days. It may be one sentence, or a short paragraph. You could even include happy memories. Just taking the time to focus on love and reminding your husband why you love him can do wonders for your relationship.
• Say “no” to some activities. During the holidays, our calendars can be over-booked, leaving no time to enjoy our families. This year, make your spouse and family a priority. Leave, at minimum, one night each week just to spend with your spouse. Have a holiday movie night, decorate cookies together or have a gift-wrapping party and munch on your spouse’s favorite treats while you wrap. The point is to purposefully spend time together, letting your spouse know you are choosing her over another event.
• Give the gift of time together.Talk with your spouse about using the gift money you typically spend on each other to do something together. It may be a date night, or a weekend away, but showing him or her that you want to be together more than you want some “thing” will speak love into his or her life.

Don’t be afraid to get creative as you choose to bless your spouse in meaningful ways this Christmas. Remember, blessings do not have to cost money. In fact, the most precious gifts are when we choose to give our hearts fully and make our spouses a top priority in our lives.

Christmas To-Do List: Love Your Spouse

The sleigh bells may not yet be ringing, but the signs of the approaching Christmas season are all around us, and now is a great time to focus on building your marriage this Christmas. By determining now to make your marriage a priority, you can avoid much of the stress that the holidays can bring.

We typically look forward to Christmas as being a time of togetherness, but when we are in the thick of it, it feels much more like a hurricane of activity and busyness than a time to be with those we love. When checking off another item on your holiday to-do list is taking priority over your spouse, you can know it’s time to stop and get a grip!

Imagine how your marriage could benefit if you created a to-do list to bless your spouse, instead of putting all of your energy into holiday planning and shopping? The truth is that doing this would give a greater gift to your family than any material gift could possibly bring. Peace and true love come when we stop focusing on the things of this world and instead focus on the commandment God gives each of us to love.

Matthew 22:39 gives us beautiful words from Jesus to “love your neighbor as yourself.” Guess what? Your spouse is your closest neighbor!

Right now, before it’s too late, get started on developing a Christmas blessing to-do list for your spouse. Get to know what love language your husband speaks. Does he desire words of encouragement, respect, physical intimacy, gifts? If you aren’t sure, ask him! Just taking the time to ask him what he needs will show him love and bring the two of your closer together.

Then, be sure to follow through. If you prefer a schedule, write one thing on your calendar or to-do list each week that will be a time for you to focus on blessing your spouse.

If you take the time to give your spouse what he needs most, this year your family can experience the true meaning of Christmas: love.

Jewell R. Powell, affectionately known as The Marriage Coach is an inspirational teacher/speaker and bestselling author. Jewell has made it her mission to help married couples, especially those who are having trouble in their marriages. She believes that, with effort and God’s grace, all can have a ‘happily ever after' marriage when you live by faith.

Interested in Lewis & Jewell speaking at your church or marriage conference, contact Jewell by email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or by calling 301-743-5654.

© 2011 by Jewell R. Powell, The Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. Visit www.marriage101.us.