"Young love is loving someone because of what they do right; mature love is loving someone in spite of what they do wrong," Mark Goulston, M.D.

We guarantee that if you are open to change your situation by applying the tips and principles in the Marriage 101 newsletter, you will have a great marriage! Every month, we will discuss challenges that couples are facing every day, from dealing with finances, to in-laws, intimacy issues, and more. A "happily ever after" exists, but it takes, faith, hope, and [unconditional] love.

Can Women Have it All?

Can women have it all? The answer is, to some degree yes - to some degree no.

A couple of years ago, I was home schooling my children. Lewis had me helping him with the business and as the business was growing, he was expecting more from me. At that time, I couldn't give 100% to either and I felt like I was failing at both. Therefore, I had to make a decision to either put the girls back in school or quit working for the company. Let's just say that my conclusion was not in line with Lewis'. So, I put the girls in school and started working with him more (that is an entire book in itself J). Which brings me to my point - whatever decision you make, the decision must be what's best for the family and/or the child(ren). If you are a stay at home mom or a career woman, don't allow guilt to swallow you up about your decision. Be at peace with your decision knowing that it is just for a season.

For those who are ready to start their career or to do what God is calling you to do, Do It! When I started my ministry/business, I felt like I was the only who believed God had called me to do it. I felt alone but I knew God had called me for this season. One piece of advice my husband gave me pertaining to making major decisions is "when you make a decision to do something, you have to go into believing that no one else will be with you" - that way you are not disappointed when you don't have the support of your family and friends. As I have experienced, when God calls you and it is your season, God will turn the hearts of men. My husband, who denied being called to marriage ministry, is now passionate about helping couples. Although I moved forward alone knowing by faith that God called me, He then changed my husbands heart and united us to this ministry. God is faithful! However, when I decided to move forward, I went into with a decision not to take anything away from Lewis. I worked when my family was sleep, I hired help when I needed the house cleaned or someone to help with the children, and I started working with women only until he was ready.

Moreover, the Bible states that if you haven't been faithful in that which is another's, then who will give you your own (Luke 16:12). This scripture spoke to me as a wife that I must be faithful in helping my husband to be and to do what he is called to do before God will give me my own. And even now, I start my day by working on what Lewis needs me to accomplish before I start working on my stuff.

Can we have it all? Although you cannot give 100% to everything; but yes, we can have great marriages, we can do what God is calling us to do, and we can be great mothers. Can we go to every soccer game or dance competition? Maybe not. But not going to every game doesn't define you as a bad mother. The balance - is being conscious that you are responsible for your children, you play a role as a wife and mother which comes before any other role you play, and every decision you make should be what is in the best interest for your family at that moment.

� 2008 by Jewell R. Powell, www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us

Balancing Life

How can I balance my life? Here are a few tried and true tricks that you might use to balance your time:

� Cook Ahead in Bulk

Spend a Saturday cooking your family's favorite dishes and freeze them in daily portion sizes. You can grab them and make dinner without breaking your back after a day of work. Also, I use paper products so I don't have to spend a lot of time cleaning after each meal.

� Pay Bills Online

It's worth the set up time because it will cut your bill payment time so much. You just sit down at a computer and click a few buttons and you are done.

� Teach Your Children

I started teaching my kids to help with the housework around 6 years old. I wash clothes and they separate into piles, fold & put away there own. They are responsible to clean their own room, bathroom and playroom. The oldest is now responsible for keeping the kitchen clean. I also bought a handheld vacuum for the youngest to clean the stairs. They are now 8 and 11 years old and they help out so much. Moreover, they do not get allowance to clean the house because that is there reasonable service. If you have boys, they can do it too.

� Make the Lawn and Other Tasks a Low Priority

If your lawn takes a lot of time, you may want to try to make it easier to maintain. Consider installing a drip irrigation system. You can use mulch or other techniques to virtually end weeding. Bottom Line, hire someone to do what you need, you will be amazed at how little something will cost compared to your time if you had to do it yourself. For example, to pay someone to clean my house once a month for $150 while I work an extra 6 hours that week to make $400 just makes sense. Or teach a teenager how to maintain my yard and pay him just makes sense.

� Grocery Shop Once a Week

Make a list and go about once a week instead of going every couple of days. You will save time standing in line and you will save money. I know most of us can't do our shopping once a month but going to BJ's or Sam's Club and buying bulk for the month will save time and money. Then once a week go to the grocery store to pick up your milk, bread and fresh fruits and vegetables.

� Ask God to Plan Your Day

Believe it or not if you take a few minutes, at least 15-30 minutes in the morning planning and praying for the day, you will have the time you need to do all that you need to do. I've noticed that if I jump out of bed and start running, my day is very hectic. But when I seek God and ask him to plan my day, He gives me the necessary strength to accomplish everything and I have some time left over to wind down.

There is always a balance to everything and each family is different. Know what's right for yours and you will be fine. We can only accomplish so much within a 24 hour period; therefore, start each day with what is a priority for TODAY, and accomplish that!

� 2008 by Jewell R. Powell, www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us

Whether you are a working mother or an at home mother, it can be hard to manage marriage, responsibilities, and family. As a marriage coach, I encourage you to assess how you can make the most of your time so that you will have the time and energy for the most important things in your life: your relationships.

Jewell R. Powell
Author & Marriage Coach
Marriage 101 & the Marriage 101 Workbook www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us

by Jewell R. Powell, The Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. Visit us at www.marriage101.us