"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you" - Robert Fulghum

The role as a mother/father is a blessing yet it comes with a high degree of responsibility. I don't take that responsibility lightly since one was adopted and the other came via infertility and with complications that she almost didn't make it. In that role as mother/father, we also function as a teacher, friend, mentor, etc., and we must know when to turn on and turn off each function. We must also understand when we need help and to use that help when needed.

Our responsibility according to Proverbs 22:6 is to train up a child in the way they should go. Our children are gifts from God who honors us with the awesome task of training and teaching our children so that He can use them for His glory.

Training our children is not just in us sending them to a great school, getting them a tutor when they need help, or helping them with their homework, it is also being a living of example - by sharing and showing them life's ups and downs, prepares them for life. By constantly showing them how God has helped us or seeing us in prayer, allows God to become more real to them. The most rewarding inheritance we can leave our children is for them to know, experience and love God for themselves.

Develop Your Child's Personal Relationship with God

While many children grow up in the church and learn about God through Sunday school classes, Vacation Bible School programs, and their parents, too many of these children fall away when they become teenagers and adults. What would cause a child with a church background and knowledge of God to turn away? The answer is lack of a personal relationship with God.

When children do not develop their own intimate relationship and personal knowledge of God it is easier for them to walk the other way. Although a small child may easily attach to his parents' belief system, there comes a time when the child will mature and develop his own belief system. If he has only been piggybacking on his parents' faith, he is less likely to take ownership of that faith for himself.

The most effective way to help your children develop that real, personal relationship with God is to model it for them. This means living out the faith. Walking the walk, not just talking the talk. If you are someone who attends a weekend service and lives a less than moral life the rest of the week, chances are, your child will come to see religion and God as being phony.

However, if you live a life of faith each day of the week, admitting your failures-not trying to claim religious perfection-yet showing love to people around you and demonstrating your own relationship with God, your child will notice. If you mess up, or make a mistake, consider asking your child to pray with you. Model communications with God to your child, as you show her how to ask God for forgiveness and help, and how to thank God in all circumstances.

Make God a common topic in your daily dialogue. With younger children, point out God's creation-"Did you know God made flowers?" or "Look at that rainbow; that is God's promise to us." Even just thanking God out loud for simple things, such as a special treat or a beautiful day helps to keep God in the forefront of your children's minds.

You can also encourage your child to communicate with God and consider what is honoring and dishonoring to him. When children are being unkind or arguing, ask them to think about what would be honoring to God. In these situations, avoid taking a derogatory or condemning tone, and instead explain that God loves them no matter how they behave, but that it is so special and pleasing to God when we make choices that honor him.

Also, point out when they are honoring God with their actions and behaviors. Speak words such as, "Wow, you just shared your toy with your brother. That was honoring to God" or "God is so pleased when we are kind to others."

By identifying both honoring and dishonoring behaviors, a child develops her own view of God as well as an internal value system. It also helps her to feel like she knows God, not because her parents know him but because she knows him.

Helping children to develop their own personal relationship with God is truly one of the greatest, most important tasks of parenthood. Not only will this relationship guide your child's path, but it will also shape the person he or she becomes. It is much easier to let go of your children and allow them to be independent when you know they have a personal relationship with God.

� 2008 by Jewell R. Powell, www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us

Back to School

As the summer is wrapping up, after 2 months of family fun, vacations, and staying up late, we have to begin getting our kids back in the mind set for school. In preparing our kids to go back to school, I have a few tips and ideas that I picked up over the years that may help you and your kids to get the most out of the new school year.

Start moving back bedtimes weeks ahead
During the summer we tend to let the kiddies stay up later than usual, but we should get them back into the normal school year routine at least a week or two before school starts to gradually ease them back on schedule so they won't end up groggy and in a daze the first few weeks of school.

Establish a routine if you don't have one
Kids do better when they have a routine and know exactly what's expected of them.

Mornings will also go a lot smoother when they prepare the night before
As they get home from school if dinner's not going to be ready for several hours then they should know they have 15 min to eat a quick snack and then it's homework time, no ands if's or buts'! No TV/playing until all homework is done, clothes are ready for the next day and baths are taken. Playtime/TV becomes a motivational tool to get their responsibilities done because they realize they will have the remainder of the evening to themselves to do whatever until bedtime if they get everything done early.

Get help when you need it
The end of a hard day (whether you're a stay at home mom or you work outside the home) can be stressful when the kids get home from school as you are trying to help with homework, get dinner on the stove, lunches packed, baths taken, etc.

I suggest that you try taking advantage of any after school programs that are provided to help with homework, that way when the kids get home all you really have to do is just look it over! Also, here are some online resources that may help with www.middleschool.net>homework:
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www.mathgoodies.com
www.charterbeeshomework.homestead.com
www.pathwhelp.org

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www.mathgoodies.com
www.charterbeeshomework.homestead.com
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Consider healthier choices for their lunch While some schools have removed junk food & sodas from the cafeterias, many others have not. With the high rate of childhood obesity and threats of high cholesterol and diabetes, we have to be careful of what our kids are eating and be sure they know what they can and can't have when purchasing school lunches. If packing a lunch, try to stay away from too much pre-packaged lunchables and lunchmeats.

Go for healthier choices like peanut butter and jelly or tuna fish on whole wheat bread along with fresh fruits and veggies (carrots, celery sticks) rather than chips and cookies, and milk and water are always a better choice that soda or juice. But try to be a little lenient at times too, allow chocolate milk sometimes over white and maybe pretzels sometimes instead of veggie sticks.
� 2008 by Jewell R. Powell, www.marriage101.us>www.marriage101.us

It is inevitable that there will be challenges and difficulties along the road to raising godly children, which makes it even more imperative to give your children a strong foundation in God. Continue to pray for them and train them. Just remember, that whatever you do is not in vain because God has promised that if you train them in the way they should go, THEY WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT (Prov 22:6). God Bless

by Jewell R. Powell, The Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. Visit us at www.marriage101.us